How do you deal with little problems and unexpected difficulties?
If your answer is that “There’s no such thing as a minor inconvenience,” you may have low frustration tolerance. A low frustration tolerance, sometimes abbreviated LFT, can make you feel overly sensitive and easily flustered.
Still, your personality isn’t the only factor. Frustration tolerance is a component of emotional regulation skills. If your mood is low, you tend to feel bothered, angry or thrown off by regular stresses. If you have a high frustration tolerance, it’s easier for you to see setbacks in a different way.
Your frustration tolerance may sometimes seem like a personality trait. However, you can learn to manage your emotions better and it’s worth trying. Resilient people, better relationships and a positive mood are found in those with high frustration tolerance.
Should you ever feel angry all the time, take a moment to breathe and continue reading. This article covers the roots of low frustration tolerance and how to strengthen it.
What is it to not have enough frustration tolerance?
Frustration intolerance is the inability to cope with frustration, discomfort, or inconvenience. People who have low frustration tolerance feel unable to “sit with” stress or difficult situations. For this reason, they could act inappropriately when they are annoyed. Some children in this condition will misbehave by having fitful outbursts, delaying chores or behaving in hyperactive ways.
What likely happens is that setbacks trigger a kind of cognitive dissonance in those with low frustration tolerance. The person feels they must act in order to deal with it. All the pain and mental anguish make it impossible to endure.
Low frustration tolerance can be a symptom of ADHD, anxiety disorders, and other mental health conditions. Frustration and the outbursts it causes can disturb someone’s mental health.
When low frustration tolerance is the result of
LFT is thought to be developed in childhood. A few specialists believe that parenting styles or stressful environments are behind the problem. Often, it happens when people become used to stressful or frustrating situations.
Generally, there are three causes psychologists point to at the root of low frustration tolerance:
Personality:
Some people seem to get frustrated more easily than others. This may confirm the ideas in childhood development theory.
Mental health:
Certain conditions including anxiety, depression and various neurodivergent ones make people less tolerant of stress. Meanwhile, training your mind can increase how much you can put up with.
Thinking styles:
Those who trust things will go easily might struggle with facing anything they feel is unfair.
LFT can trigger a cycle. People with low frustration tolerance often have negative self-talk and feel that life is unfair. If they feel frustrated, they act to avoid the unease of cognitive dissonance. Unfortunately such reactions might not help the situation. As a result such people may not have the opportunity to develop skills for solving problems or making decisions.
7 signs of low frustration tolerance
There are times when you react in anger without feeling frustrated first. Any situation can become frustrating if you don’t have much patience. Here are some signs that you might have LFT:
- You get irritated or angry when things don’t go your way
- You don’t like changing your plans or the way you do things
- It is easy for you to become impatient with both others and yourself
- It seems like you can’t sit still and want to find activities all the time
- It’s rare for you to feel bored or impatient.
- You feel like hurting yourself after small things go wrong
- You struggle to do things that don’t bring you instant satisfaction
Time and effort make it easier to become patient. Coaching can help you develop the self-awareness and emotional regulation skills you need to develop your frustration tolerance. Low frustration tolerance can be a symptom of several mental health conditions. Even on its own, LFT can have several negative effects.
Having a low frustration tolerance and its detrimental impacts
If life were easy and stress-free, LFT wouldn’t be a big deal. The reality is, we deal with many stresses big or small. If we react well to them, we become stronger and happier. Little ability to control frustration can bring about these concerns:
- More cases of anxiety and depression
- Showing strong anger towards people
- Becoming withdrawn
- Not believing much in one’s own influence and success
- Copping with problems through excessive drinking or drug use
If your outbursts or negative emotions are disruptive to yourself or others, you should speak to a mental health professional. Psychotherapy and cognitive reframing techniques are often successful in developing emotional regulation skills.
How to Improve Your Tolerance
Seeing a therapist is an excellent way to start building your ability to deal with frustration. They may work with a technique called rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). In the 1950s, psychologist Albert Ellis was the creator of REBT. It gives you a way to question thoughts that hold you back.
There are 3 things you can do outside sessions to work on your negative thoughts and frustration control.
1. Understand the reason for your illness
What things or events usually make you feel frustrated? Is it a particular event, someone or an experience? After you know what causes your stress, you can prepare a plan to manage these triggers when they happen.
2. Work on becoming frustrated.
When developing frustration tolerance strategies, the goal is to increase your capacity. It isn’t meant to make things less frustrating. You should try to face more and more frustrating situations as time goes on.
If you’re calm, choose a challenge that’s not too difficult. You could wait in line, try a puzzle (Quordle is a good one) or build some furniture. The goal is to do things that challenge you to be patient. You’ll be able to catch yourself when you become negative and replace these thoughts with better ones.
3. Don’t be afraid to get help when you need it.
Remember, even when you’re feeling burnt out, you have others in the same position. There’s a good chance that the world isn’t trying to harm you. You might share your problems with another person, seek feedback or use coaching sessions—however you do it, expressing your frustration is beneficial.
If your anger or low frustration tolerance is getting in your way, BetterUp can help. Our coaches help people develop their communication and emotional regulation skills. Sitting with difficult emotions and little failures can help you build strength for challenges you will face further on. It’s a talent that pays off in the end.
Conclusion
Low frustration tolerance (LFT) can make life’s small challenges feel insurmountable, leaving you irritable, restless, and reactive. Even so, it’s helpful to realize that frustration tolerance can be improved by working on it and using the right methods. By identifying triggers, practicing patience in manageable doses, and seeking support when needed, you can enhance your emotional regulation skills and build resilience. Learning to sit with discomfort not only improves your relationships and mental health but also empowers you to tackle larger challenges with confidence. If you practice regularly and may also receive advice from an expert, you can handle your feelings better after bad things happen.
FAQS
What is low frustration tolerance (LFT)?
Low frustration tolerance refers to the inability to cope with discomfort, stress, or inconvenience. People with LFT often find themselves reacting impulsively or emotionally to minor setbacks or challenges, making it difficult to stay calm and productive.
What are the common signs of low frustration tolerance?
Some signs are irritability, impatience, rigid thinking, difficulty waiting or being bored, restlessness, a desire for instant rewards and, in the most serious cases, thoughts of harming oneself after small upsets.
Can low frustration tolerance be linked to mental health conditions?
Yes, LFT can be associated with conditions such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions. Struggling with anxiety can also result from the way we react to continual stress or experiences of trauma.
What can I do to diminish my frustration?
You can improve frustration tolerance by identifying your triggers, gradually exposing yourself to mildly frustrating situations to practice patience, reframing negative thoughts, and seeking support from a therapist or coach to develop emotional regulation skills.
What are the consequences of not addressing low frustration toleranace?
Unmanaged LFT can result in increased anxiety, depression, angry outbursts, withdrawal from others, unhealthy coping mechanisms (e.g., substance abuse), and difficulty building resilience. Over time, it can negatively impact relationships, mental health, and overall well-being.
